The Dragonfly and Raven

The Dragonfly and Raven

Monday, April 13, 2015

I'm Thinking About

I'm thinking about the future.
I'm thinking about the paper I have to turn in in a few minutes. About the one that I have yet to write.
I'm thinking about the book that I have to read. I'm thinking about the test I have to take in calculus. About substitution and integrals and derivatives. About x and y and z.
I'm thinking about Vietnam and the counter-culture. About how many kids LBJ killed each day.
I'm thinking about all of the songs that I will be singing for the upcoming choir competition. About how bad I am at sight reading. About my insecurities, my fear of failure, of making a mistake.
I'm thinking about the dance that Ii'm helping put on. About the male beauty pageant I'm running.
I'm thinking about the play that I just got the script for. About how I don't have my lines down. About how it has to open in three weeks.
I'm thinking about college, about what dorm I will be in.
I'm thinking about scholarships. About which ones I'll win. About how much debt I'll have.
I'm thinking about my writing blog. About what will go up today.
I'm thinking about both of my family's cars being broken.
I'm thinking about the main water pipe to our house needing to be replaced.
I'm thinking about my family. About my brother and sister whose academics I worry about. About the health of my parents, both mental and physical. About my grandparents, slowly withering away.
I'm thinking about the hunger gnawing at my stomach. About the fatigue and the lack of sleep assaulting my eyes and my mind.
I'm thinking about what others think of me. About my looking "stupid" or not. About looking "cool" or not.
I'm thinking about the girl I have a crush on.
I'm thinking about today and tomorrow and the day after that.

I'm just sitting here, thinking.